NOTHING TO PROVE - 50 years old
- JAMES HEPPNER
- 1 day ago
- 9 min read
The half-time show....
April 14 was half-time show for me
The first 1/2 of life was one way, the second will be different. Variety - thank goodness!!
Lucky for us all, we get to ride the elevator up and then celebrate that we get to take it back down.
One is not better than the other; both adrenaline-filled and with all the things that make life the gift that it is.
I plan on living well past 100, so whether 50 is officially my half-time or not is unimportant.
What is key though is that for 1/2 of our life we learn how to go up, and then in the second half we must learn how to come down. To do anything different, in my opinion, would just be silly.
We climb, then we get to enjoy the de'climb.
(Notice I didn't say decline... though we might decline, however, I'd argue even if or when that happens, we always gain more than we lose)
I believe the first half is learning how to live well, and that the second half is learning how to die well.
Don't run... wait... come back...
When I say dying, I'm referring to dying in terms far beyond a one-time physical death that we'll all experience at some point. What I'm getting at is dying to the old so that we can make room for the needed NEW!
DYING TO THE
• old stories and old memories that don't serve us
• old ways of interpreting our life experiences
• old ways we hustled and nearly killed ourselves in the process
• old subtle restlessness that hummed in the backdrop of our minds on the daily
• old habits of forcing
• old ideas of how we hoped it would be
For me, to die is...
GAIN!
To die to how I thought it was going to go.
To die to fighting reality (notice how reality always wins? lol)
To finally die to resisting the parts of life that i don't prefer.
To finally die to the idea that there is a limit to my joy.
Truth is, when we die to something, we make room for something better
When we let go of the old and finally embrace life as it is, we play our part in the resurrection process. No longer sitting on the sidelines "hoping something will make things better,", but rather, participating with and being active in our own rescue.
For me, learning how to live well and die well is...
RAW POWER!
Can you imagine if we only had it one way?
UP UP UP UP... he's gone. ouch
Up not better, and down not worse.
Both were designed, not one being the curse.
Crushing life (laughing so hard right now)...
while constantly crushing myself in the process.
Just nothing as liberating as some good old self-abuse.
Nothing better than hopping into the Hamster wheel every morning and telling myself...
"Come on man, today’s your day to crush it, so it’s time to ignore what’s actually healthy and just slay it.
Like, come on bitch, run harder, run faster. I know you’re missing things along the way, but hey, we’ll get to that later.
Hey, I'm not meaning to reject certain inner awareness that disturb me and then project them onto others, but come on, can't you see, I'm just too busy to slow the fuck down and pay meaningful attention towards things that I think i'll have time for later."
Scratch and sniff - what is this? Choosing to be interested in what is happening directly in front of me while things unfold.
Sensing that something is different and then...
leaning in.
Noticing that roughly 1/2 is tasty, and that the other 1/2 seems like it will be the opposite of tasty - the opposite of what I preferred.
Noticing that this different 1/2 sure doesn’t look good, sure doesn’t smell good, surely won’t taste good, and sure as anything won’t feel good
SO, drum roll...
(two little words)
LET'S SEE.
Let’s see what happens when I get a little closer to it and look beneath the hood of this baby.
Let's see what happens when I bring it really close, close enough that I can scratch and sniff it
Let’s see who I become and what I’ll be able to enjoy when I finally mature the pair in the underwear, and reach beyond that which I already know about myself (aka My Personal Preferences)
Let's see how I’ll be able to contribute to other people's lives that were once out of reach for me when I;
Take the old, unwanted, and bring NEW want to it
Take the old, unneeded, and bring NEW need to it
Take the old, dangerous, and bring NEW safety to it
THE RAW TRUTH IS I WILL...
do my best to stretch beyond my comfort zone, until the day I physically die.
do my best to experience all of what God has created and designed for me.
keep living on the razor edge of life - straddling the edge, one leg firmly planted on the left and the other free wheeling it in the open breeze on the right.
do my very best to constantly focus on increasing my signal-to-noise ratio
anchor myself to the source of all my power each and every morning.
do my very best to put my faith in Love first as I flex and flow through the day.
And most importantly, I will...
Invest in people and opportunities with joy, trust and love.
I AM COMMITTED TO....
finding a way to enjoy ALL my humanity (the spaces and places where I hit the mark and especially those where I very clearly miss the mark. I WILL find a way to embrace imperfection and let that fuel me towards participating in life even more.
finally stop judging myself in areas of my life that I either massively or subtly still do this, and accept and find love towards the insane things that I do that just don’t seem to go away.
finally stop expecting more of myself and others than what God expects of us. Imperfection is how we all have need of one another. Imperfection is what reveals what we do when the voice of judgement seems to creep up.
actively engage in the never-ending work of learning how to trust the unseen instead of lazily needing to have it be visible so that I can find some semblance of value in it, or worse yet, needing to see the fruit so that I continue applying myself.
pointing everything back to the source of my existence,
put my "fork" (as in pitch fork) down when I am tired and even before I am tired (ha - workaholism slide on over. This one might be tough)
running towards discomfort and staying with it until the veil lifts and I see the gift beneath it all ,
treating people based on their essence instead of their behaviour.
serving with reasoning and loving through every level of reasoning
And most importantly, I am 100% committed to...
FINDING JOY IN MY IMPERFECTION.
MY NEXT 50 YEARS WILL BE ABOUT...
Speaking less and integrating more. Oh boy, I’m in trouble as we Heppners tend to talk just a little. So here’s how I am going to roll.. “James, you already know what you know, so how about you wisen up and speak with your ears.”
Letting go of how I want it to be and working diligently to model for my 2 young adult boys, Rohn and Harrison, what it looks like to “want it as it is”. To be grateful for the experience that I get to have.
Receiving the realities of life first
To receive the warmth from the sun, the abundance of oxygen, the sound of laughter, the echoes of someone crying, the feeling of discomfort, the feeling of joy. To receive before I focus on bringing, serving, and giving back.
embracing the core of who I am, who I have always been, and as far as I can see, will always be. Living in the fast lane. Punching the throttle, getting high on the fact that I get to choose throttle up or throttle down. Loving the fact that though I’m at the controls, there is a source of power that we all come from that I get to surrender to.
For those of you who know me & have spent time any amount of time with me you'll know that...
I light up when I’m in the cockpit of life.
I love the rush of throttling it up and then throttling it down.
I was wired for speed, I was wired for fast. Without I wouldn't know myself.
I’ll never forget when I was in grade 8 and my momma so graciously sent a speech therapist to visit me during school hours regarding my stutter. Honestly, my stutter was pretty intense - something I had become very self-conscious about and sadly ashamed of.
The therapist listened to me talk for a few minutes and then gently said...
“Oh, so I see what’s going on here. Speech is my specialty, and what I can honestly tell you is that you don’t actually have a speech impediment, you just think so fast that your tongue can’t keep up.”
So Speed is just my DNA. it will always be.
However, now at half-time, I've chosen to marry Speed with Patience ...
And these 2 shall become one. ha.
Not conflicted by one another, rather each serving the other.
Today, I come to you just as I am.
No better, no worse, with nothing to prove. Just an average guy who has a heart and passion for people.
Simply put, I am...
A 50-year-old guy with an insatiable appetite to help people INTEGRATE their life.
Hungry to help people stop fighting their wiring and finally start leading from it.
Committed to simplifying wherever possible,
Determined to do my very best to help you increase the signal-to-noise ratio in your life so that clarity can take hold, and that your hard-fought gains can be realized in less time and with less strain.
With nothing to prove, let's...
Taste and see that life is Good!
James Heppner
If this resonates, you already know what to do
James is a Results Life Coach and the host of the Weekly Wins and Losses podcast. He’s driven to help people who are committed to leveling up and seizing every opportunity life has to offer, pushing beyond limitations to create lasting success.
James believes life is a gift, meant to be lived fully. He knows the ups and downs are part of the journey, but believes each challenge is an opportunity to grow and take purposeful action
He believes Life Owes Us Nothing, Perfection Is A Myth, and Everything We Participate In Is a Co-Creation.
James lives in BC with his wife Meg of 25 years, and two young adult sons, Rohn and Harrison
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